


The Normalcy of Dying

by immortalje



Series: Prompt Challenges [76]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: Jack contemplates dying over and over again
Relationships: implied past Ninth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler
Series: Prompt Challenges [76]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047814





	The Normalcy of Dying

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This was written for [10prompts](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/10prompts/). The prompt was Dying. ([Table](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/love_sacrificed/1193.html)) [And yes, I apparently wrote two stories for the same prompt...]  
> 2\. This was written back in 2013 or earlier and I finally got around to posting it.

Over the years, dying and getting up again had become something normal to him. It didn’t lessen the pain and shock of the experience, nor was it able to prepare him for all kinds of situations that would lead to his death. However, the pressing need to know just why he couldn’t die and stay dead had gone. Sure, he still wanted to know, even planned that this would be the first thing he’d ask the Doctor when he saw him again, directly followed by the question of just why he had been left behind on that Gamestation.

Aside from the years that had gone by since he first died, which was one of the main reason why he had adjusted to and accepted the unchangeable (by him at least) fact of his immortal life, there was one other thing. That had been the time he had spent adjusting to the fact that he had arrived a century too early. Not much, compared to the time span he had travelled, but enough for him to die of old age, before he’d ever see the Doctor again – a thought that had been refuted once he realised he didn’t age either.

He didn’t really remember much of what had happened back then as the minimal chances of seeing the Doctor again and with no way of contacting him otherwise had led to him falling into depression. The depression had led to suicide attempts that never kept him dead, which in turn had just made him even more depressed. An unending cycle of death and desperation had begun.

It took a while, longer than he would have needed under normal circumstances, to realise that he didn’t age. After that, he had been angry and hopeful. Angry that he didn’t even have old age as a way out and hopeful that he would eventually see Rose and the Doctor again.

Now, years later, he finally lived beyond the point of no contact as he wouldn’t cross timelines and have either of them meet him before they had originally met him. However, things still weren’t as he had hoped. Rose and her mother were listed as missing, presumed dead, after the battle at Canary Wharf. The Doctor hadn’t been the same, changing between the time he had last seen him and his visit to Torchwood One, proving rumours he had heard about Time Lords being able to regenerate true.

He had changed as well. Dying didn’t matter any more and neither did finding the Doctor. Time had done a lot to heal his wounds from being left behind, just like his love for Rose and the Doctor had diminished in intensity, allowing him to move on. At least to some extend.

He still died, quite frequently, but not at his own hand any more. Neither did he offer his heart to anyone. However, with the way things were going he might change his mind eventually. He just hoped it wouldn’t lead to heartbreak again, since he didn’t fancy dying at his own hand ever again, no matter how dying and getting back up had become a habit.


End file.
